electroclunk

duct tape delares the only true art-music movement of the friendster nation is ELECTROCLANK. Nu Communities Demand Nu Culture. Nu Culture DE-mands Nu Art, and Nu Art dem-ands nu emotions and nu reaction. ELECTROCLANK is the static electricity built up from walking across the shag carpet of assimulated retro-junk pop culture. Transmognifying the furious hate of gutterpunx into the theatrics of Chicago Improv, the cinema of Dark Horse comic books, and the standard MIDI patch on your desktop computer, ELECTROCLANK is the muse-KICK of the flash mob, the mu-SICK of the vanilla fetishware crowd; it is the mmm-OOZE-ick!of Williamsburg absinthe loft parties.

Brett Ellis started to write a novel about it, only to have Michael Lerner and David Sedaris fight over the previous drafts Thrown in the dumpster. Kathleen Bigalow tried to make a movie about it, only to have the schedule pushed back for the next X-MEN film. The Coca Cola Company tried to make a drink for it, only to have the FDA ban its sale.

ELECTROCLANK is more than a life-style, it is STileLYFE. ELECTROCLANK is the duct tape to the cardboard of the Nu Culture. ELECTROCLANK is the ringtone of your cellphone. More goth than Marilyn Manson, more penetrating than Matthew Barney, more sexier than Madonna (if such a thing is possible), ELECTROCLANK will get you laid by other people into ELECTROCLANK!

ELECTROCLANK is the last slummy refuge of movie star vocalists and musicians. It is the genre of choice for those who still own a MAGICAL MUSICAL THING. For all its postmodern trappings and art-school academic justifications, the music itself is embarrasingly bad; and you will find yourself on a "walk of shame" from any ELECTROCLANK gathering back to your camry. ELECTROCLANK comes to the The realization that it honestly is not too difficult to look cool and beautiful, thus ELECTROCLUNK dares to go out of sync, to fall short of its technocratic promise. Its bleeps and bloops are no more than the tic toc of a lost generation careening into day-care and SUVs. LONG LIVE THE NU FLESH. REVOLUTION ELECTROCLANK STYLE NOW!

ART MOVEMENTS DEMAND FASCISM BEFORE THEY TOLERATE DEMOCRACY

ElectroClank as a rule has rules. Following the rules is cool.

3L3C7r0Cl4NK can only consist of the following instrumentation

• Magical Musical Thing
• Mattel SynDrums
• OmniChord
• The general midi patch on your computer

Here's something to consider: sometimes a pop song can be merely conversational. They' e not all trying to be a memorable epic Sometimes its okay to go verse-chorus-verse-chorus-bridge-chorus and get out of Dodge. Not every tune has to have the pop structure limberness of a Math Rock song.